Life is Beautiful

A music festival post?! On a blog?! How shocking! Bloggers using music festivals as an anchor for their blogs is nothing new, nothing surprising. You had a life changing experience while “exploring” the festival grounds? Congratulations. Welcome to the 1 week of being “renewed” until life is the same again. So why am I bothering to make this post? Because for me… it wasn’t renewing. It was a reminder. This particular festival has a very special place in my heart because of everything it represents for me. From who I was to who I am.

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Yes. The whale is back. It was from the art installations at the festival. And it represents me starting something new, discovering something about myself… and the mere fact that I’m as badass as this whale. Plus that look of apathy. I am the whale.

So let me give the brief history of this festival for you. Two years ago in 2014, I first attended it with the guy I had my first serious relationship with. We dug the same music, we dug drinking, we dug each other. He made me a promise at that festival while we were waiting for Fitz and the Tantrums, that in a little over a year… we would get engaged. So you could only imagine how ecstatic 22-year old me was. My first love would be my only love?! Hell yeah. Well, as anyone whose ever been truly heart broken knows- the chances of that happening are far from realistic. Most of us have to be murdered at least once before we truly get to find our person (there’s some lucky ones, but that’s a very small percent). So that was it. The festival reminded me of a time where I was once happy and I felt deceived, betrayed; it represented to me nothing but lies. Yeah, life is beautiful my ass. But the music… the music was fantastic. I skipped going in 2015 for lack of funds or someone to attend with, as well as the fear of running into him. Then 2016 comes around. I’ve decided I’m no longer going to hide, that it’s time for me to run my own life again. So a few girlfriends and I decide to go to the festival. There’s several different stages, and even though our tastes may not be the exact same- there was always something playing that we wanted to hear… or at least stuff to explore.

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Tegan and Sara (Night One)

Of the many events to happen during the festival, let me give you the highlights: Ran into the ex. Tried new things. Saw one of my favorite groups. Gotta see my cousin’s line of work. Was extremely annoyed.

My reminders: I’m so much better off without. I’m adventurous. I have a low tolerance for bullshit. I love music. I’m not the person I was when I first attended LIB.

So, let’s go through the lists one by one. Yeah, I ran into my ex. That fear from 2015 was a real one and in a festival containing thousands of people, I managed to run into him. Remember me mentioning the “movie-esque” way my life works? This is just one element, because this kind of thing happens all the time. Was I annoyed? Hurt? Frustrated? Yes. But, with a little help from my friends (try not singing that) everything was alright. It led to an entire series of events that I was going to recap, then decided it just wasn’t worth it. What matters is the end result- my life is so much better off without him in it. I’m in a good place where I can support myself, and when I can’t- there’s an entire slew of people that can, some of which were unexpected.

Part of my annoyance resulted from festival-goers that attend because festivals are a huge trend right now. They are an extremely popular thing these days, and like anything popular- everyone wants to take part. This does bring money into the music world and allows for festivals to continue on, so I can’t hate on it completely. Plus, let’s be real. How often would I really attend something like this if it wasn’t a big deal? However, I went to spend time with my girls and to see sets I’ve been dying to see for years. I was there for the music and the food trucks. When I got the chance to watch Chromeo and arrived there early to get as close as possible to the stage, only to be shoved aside 75% of the way through the set from 19-year old assholes drinking illegally because they are “dying to see this band” did not bode well with me. So yeah, I told them where to go and asked them to get the hell out of my way. Was that necessary? No, but I had forgotten how low of a tolerance for BS I have. The only thing worse than people having bad concert manners were the people that claimed to be a fan of a performer, but realistically only knew one or two of their songs. Did I know every single song in a set? No, but I also never claim to be a fan if I don’t listen to them avidly. I’m not fond of fakes. This new world of media, though? It’s all about fakery… at least on festival grounds I was able to recover quickly because the music was just that good.

Which brings me to my next point. I love music! This should seem like an obvious statement all things considered, but for about a year I had forgotten just how much I loved music. I had convinced myself I was more passionate about other stuff, that sure… I liked but it truly wasn’t me. I used to be all about discovering new artists, being open to old ones, giving all music a fair chance. I forget what a rush it is to witness it live, I get reminded of the rush I felt when I would perform as a kid. Why did I ever let it go? My cousin works in the industry, and on Saturday I got to hang with him for a bit and felt incredibly jealous. His stories, the stuff he knew, the people he’s friends with… it’s amazing. Getting to be around this all day, getting paid for what you love. Maybe working in the industry isn’t for me, but I was reminded that the path I thought I wanted isn’t for me either(but more on that later). For now, I’ve had my love for music renewed. I have concerts lined up, I’m discovering again. The way music can make you feel is nothing short of magical. The memories it can strike up. The way it can help you escape. It can strike you down to the center of your soul, a center you may have not even been aware was there.

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Overall, the best way to put what I’ve been saying? The person I was when I first attended this festival is not the person I am now. I’m the girl I was before life started knocking me down… a girl that adored trying new things, that danced around and didn’t care what anyone else thought, that knew her worth. There is one difference though. I’ve elevated her. I’ve grown. My experiences over the last two years have changed me significantly, the old me has been improved. And this me? This me is a total and complete badass. This me is a good time. This me knows how to handle her own shit. Know what? Life is pretty fucking Beautiful.

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