My goal was to make sure that I posted a blog once a week… usually aiming to do it earlier. However, I almost reached the end of my week without posting and without knowing what to post about because I’ve been so incredibly busy! Then it hit me… that’s the post (albeit not a well written one).
How often do we take on too many tasks at once? How often do we think that we can handle and have it all? How often do we prove ourselves wrong?
My schedule is so ridiculously impacted, that at times I literally sit and stare at a wall because I can’t even fathom how to possibly handle everything. This is the breaking point, this is what led to me calling my mother (yes, I still do that) and going off about how insane everything in my life is and how school is just too much and how I hate my jobs. I think I have taken too much on. I used to think that I enjoyed being busy, when in fact, I hate not having down time. I hate having to choose between being responsible and having fun- so I don’t.
In the last 1-2 weeks, I worked 30+ hours for one job because I was working and getting coached; I had to work that around my 15-unit semester and my 24-hour work week schedule. During this time I had 3 exams, a take-home midterm, and two research papers. Oh yeah, do you remember.. it was also Halloween weekend. So, needless to say I had a lot on my plate. Any responsible adult would have sat down and properly allocated their time, chosen to not go out and party (or at least only done it on one night). But, not me. Instead I chose to procrastinate, go hard, and left everything on the back burner.
I learned my lesson. Things kept piling up, I got stressed out, exhausted, and felt like the world was caving in on me. I realized, it was time to make choices. So starting today, I am resetting myself. I can’t go without two jobs, but I will stick to the schedule I set for myself. I will choose to put my work and studies before going out. If there’s an event going on that I need to go to (well, have an intense desire towards), then I will earn it. No more going out and spending / acting irresponsibly. It’s time to grow up. Will this work out perfectly? Definitely not, I’m still young enough where I’m going to make mistakes… but I’m old enough to know that this level of stress is unnecessary and unhealthy.
So here’s to an attempt to be responsible, and trying to make myself less of a busy girl.