Halloweekend

Aww-Oooh! That was my attempt at a coyote / wolf howl for “creepiness” factor. Although it was nearly a week and a half ago, what kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t post all about my Halloween weekend?! In my previous blog I mentioned how it did cause me to procrastinate on a lot of work, but it was still a lot of fun with a lot of memories… and for me, Halloween holds special significance. It was an example of how far I’ve come since last year, two years ago, four years ago… it always shows me where I am in my life compared to previous years.

Halloween isn’t always exciting for me, sometimes it’s laid back… but it always marks the beginning of holiday season, so I stay fond of the holiday. Four Halloween’s ago, I was newly 21, had just started dating someone after ending things with someone else, and was living my life to the fullest with my then-best friend by my side. In the fashion of all 21-year olds, I went hard. Too hard. I was supposed to be the driver, and eventually wound up passed out in my car where my parents had to come get me to keep me from getting arrested… and I then proceeded to cry to my mom and tell her all about me losing my virginity to the guy I had been seeing and well.. it was a mess. Needless to say, I had to knock off my stuff (but let’s get real.. I didn’t, I just did it with someone by my side). Shortly after that, I got into my first serious relationship and lost my best friend.

The next Halloween, it was chill. My then-boyfriend and I hung out, binged on food and candy (since no one trick or treats now apparently), and watched movies about Nazi zombies. I was satisfied with that, I didn’t need to dress up and get hammered. I was perfectly happy with my simple pleasures in life.

Now, last Halloween was the start of something new. I was single, going wild after recently  having my heart broken, and throwing my inhibitions to the wind. A few girlfriends from back home came down, and half of us partied hard while the other half not so much. Wound up at the home of a friend of the guy I had been on like… one date with. Nothing happened, you know.. alcohol and all. It was different though, and if we’re being honest? Not my favorite Halloween. The company was good, the mindset was awful. I was texting another guy that same night, someone I knew was in a relationship but hiding it from all the girls at work, trying to catch him in his lie. I was crossing lines and boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed, I was still by myself for the part out here. Not my best moments last year.

This year? This year was amazing. I’m finally feeling like me again, my head (not always, obviously) is in the right place, and I have friends out here. Darn good ones at that. I was actually invited out, and as lame as this sounds… it was nice. It reminded me that I have finally built a life for myself in a place where I felt alone for so long. So a big thank you to all the individuals that have managed to make my time out here in San Diego exciting, and for bringing me in to be a part of their family. Thank you for helping me out of a place that was dangerous. Thank you for accepting me for who I am, for making me feel like I can finally call San Diego my home.

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